I have the answer spreading with cancer

Is it wierd that music can move me so easily? Music can put me just where I need to be. It can bring me up and down. Music can make me laugh really big and cry my eyes out. I connect music with people and memories. I listen to music for inspiration for my designs and writing. Is that normal? Can certain music get to you and toy with your emotions this way? I find music an important part of my life. So I’m gonna do my favorite thing. Im gonna catagorize music.

Music that brings me up!

-Change-Monoxide Child

-Juggalo Family-Dark Lotus

-Let the Beat Build-Lil Wayne

-Lollipop-Lil Wayne

-Superstar-Lupe Fiasco

-Handlebars-Flobots

-Trigger Happy Jack-Poe

-Creep-RadioHead<br><br>

Music that makes me think about people I know

Music related to Tristan:

-Be My Escape-Relient K

-Always-Zug Izland

-Slow Motion-Hyper Crush

-Make Damn Sure-Taking Back Sunday

-Karma Police-Radiohead<br><br>

Music Related to Mary

-Familiar-Twiztid

-Laughed Until We Cried-Jason Aldean

-Homies-Insane Clown Posse

-Wifey Riddim-Tinie Tempah

-Halls Of Illusions-Insane Clown Posse<br><br>

Music Related To Mike

-The Dance-Garth Brooks

-Smother Me-The Used

-Evil Angel-Breaking Benjamin

-Tell Them She’s Not Scared-Envy on the Coast

-My Curse-Killswitch Engaged

-When You Say Nothing at All-Allison Kraus<br><br>

Music that Inspires my art

-Smokin on a Blunt-Potluck

-Bite Down-Boys n Da Hood

-I Sit on Acid-Lords of Acid

-HelloGoodBye-Lupe Fiasco

-Green Eyes Dont Lie-Envy on the Coast

and a bunch more<br><br>

Music that Brings me down

-When your gone-Avril Lavegn

-Starving Your Friends-Envy on the Coast

-Coma White-Marilyn Manson

-Coma Black-Marilyn Manson

There are more

I just cant think of them right now<br><br>

Anyways, This is how I catagorized the music I connect frequently with different areas of my life.

They hasnt been much new news these past two days except that me and Tristan are back together. I am happy about this. I am still going through my stage where i need someone to know who i really am….but obviously its not happening anytime soon. thats all i have for today.

<3

im just like me im just like me so

“who the hell are you?”

EotC<3

Who am I? No answers? Didnt think so. Do you actually know who I am? No, actually you dont know anything about me. All you know is what you have read. or what you have heard. Do you want to know the real me? do you want to actually know the person you consider your friend,best friend, “sister”, or any other type of relationship I have with you? No probably not. Maybe you like it that way, If you don’t know me then you won’t feel as bad when you are out of my life. You won’t feel as bad as you would if you knew me and i was out of your life. I crave the need for someone to know me. I want some one to try to get through my walls and actually want to know who I am. I want someone to want to know who I am when no one is looking. I want someone to see me and understand when I fall so low. I want them to understand why I am the way I am. I need this. I need it now. I need it all the time. I crave someone knowing me more than a herion addict wants their fix. I need it to survive. Im not surviving anymore. I just have nothing else to offer but the honesty of who I am and who I want you to know. I hate the person I have become when I am around all these people that think they know me like the back of their hand. Why doesn’t anyone want to know me? Obviously I am that insignificant to the world. In this world, this town, this house, standing next to anyone else I feel so small. I feel like the world is such a massive size that my exsistance is indifferent and insignificant. I’m not worth getting to know in their eyes, in anyones eyes. No ones. At all.  I need to be loved,cared for, held. I starve for the touch of anyone else. I just want to be held. I have gotten to this point. Most people would think i may feel like there is no return from where I am at. Thats quite the opposit. I know I can bounce back from this. I just need someones help. I need someone to try to break through. I need someone to hold me. For once i dont want to be there for someone to cry on my shoulder. I need a shoulder to cry on. I need this. I am hungry for attention. Not attention from a boy, or for the entire world to revolve around me. I just want someone to think of me every once in a while. I want them to think of the real me. Not the one I have made myself to be.  I need someone to be there when I fall. I want someone to actually give a damn enough to help me balance so I don’t fall. I’m a needy person right now. I’ll admit that. So many people come to me and talk to me. Ask for my advice and I give them the most honest to God raw truth and advice I can. I spend so much time helping other people try to balance and helping them through the rough times that I have forgotten to actually try to stay balanced myself. I put others before myself and I feel bad when I try to do something for myself. When everything feels so much bigger than I will ever be I figure out that I want to grow. I want some importance in my own life I guess. So I guess what I am really wondering is , do you really want to try to break through my walls? Am I worth that precious time?

<3

Hali

The smile on your face

” lets me know that you need me There’s a truth in your eyes sayin’ you’ll never leave me The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall You say it best when you say nothing at all”

 

so yeah…I have become a very bad person. Tristan probably hates me and i hope i didnt hurt him… but i probably did knowing me. thats what im best at remember. i hurt people.  alot. maybe he wont hate me. maybe he isnt hurt at all….alright thats bullshit. he has made it clear that he is atleast losing his mind…so i have either hurt him or pissed him off. either one isnt good. at all. maybe i should just back away from society completely for a while. then ill come back and be a better person. maybe if i dont feel right still i wont come back at all. i just need a break. i need a break from my friends and family and stress….life. i dont know. maybe i should just suck it up and deal with it. im going to have to eventually. i just feel so low right now. i hate hurting people. i really do. im sorry. honestly i really am truely sorry. but does it really matter to anyone how sorry i am after i did it? no probably not….nut atleast its out there that i feel like shit. so yeah….alright…i guess i should go

I’ll hold your tears as a ransom

“within the palm of my hand, and tell you once again dont tell me that your scared.”

I love Envy on the Coast. I havent found a song by them i havent liked yet. Anyways, today has been rough. Im torn between my heart and my head. I dont know which one to listen to because for once my heart feels more wrong than my head.

i dont know what to do anymore. Im weak i guess. my moods are gearshifting between happy,sad,mania,manic. Im freaking out. My meds are out of prescription. My chemicals are all fucked up. I feel like a walking freak out waiting to happen lately.

WTF BELEANIE???

add my music account on myspace!

http://www.myspace.com/sihkxoxojuliet

sorry about eh title
tristan got me hooked on derrickcomedy and i find it hillarious. but anyways, guess what! Im the only one awake in my house. which is shocking because I went to bed at 4 am. and its 10. usually i would still b asleep. wow. anyways I have alot of thoughts crashing into one side of my crain and bouncing onto the other. I finnaly realized something last night.

Ok, so I realized that no matter how much I tell you about myself or how much you think you know…..no one really knows me. I purposely keep people at a distance because if they hurt me they wont break me. But I have also realized that no one actually tries to get to know me. No one has ever really tried to persuade me to let them in and answer their questions. I have friends that say they know me and it makes me laugh alittle cause no one knows anything about me really. They only know what they have heard,what they have seen, and what they have asked. None pry to far and that makes me think. There are a few possible reasons why. one possibility is that They have heard so much bullshit from my past that they think im like a nut case. another one could be because no one really finds me interesting at all. I am the girl that blends in well with abunch of people. I have been told that alot. I’m soooo different yet I blend in with alot of people. I blend in with the older people. The freaks. The juggalos. The high school kids. and probably the only other possibility for why they dont try is that they are like me. They are scared to let anyone get to close and when you are like that you dont get to close to anyone else for fear of rejection or being hurt. I dont know. Maybe they just dont give a fuck. That wouldnt shock me honestly. Im not the most interesting thing out there. But if you think im wronge about this….lets put it to the test.

And that test is
Try to get to know me. Ask me a question, talk to me, put your gaurd down and just do it. dont be scared. Im crazy yes, but no more than any other human on the planet. =]

so here is basically all im asking
dont bitch me out when i say you dont know me
if you have a question
ask me
you wanna know my true reasonings behind something
talk to me about it
im really not shy
ill answer your question
I just would like for you to ask me cause im sick of getting bitched out by people who im gonnal leave unnamed because I tell them they dont know anything about me.
you want to get to know me
break down my fuckin walls then
its really easy
just need to use the right words[[as in a question der]]

but anyways im done ranting about that. my neext subject for today is that *drum roll*
I finished editing chapter two and three. I will post some of them in a few days. not today because today is just not the right day. probably tommorow or monday. they will be up by tuesday at the latest.

alright now you have my twiztid poetry. lol.
I have been working on a theory for a while. I mentioned it to my friend Tak about a month and a half ago and once I get it going alittle more I will let you in on it. just thought I would warn you all.

This morning already i tryin to get better. I had a bad first thing this morning. My sigar had dropped befor I woke up and I was like WTF. It was at like 45. Its usual around 90 or so. but its better now. Its at like 93 so im glad. plus someone else is up now. so im not all lonely and such.
I really want to edit pictures for some reason. I thought I was getting past that but I enjoy it. Im no longer sending them in with my portfolio unless its something new i havent done befor.

well im gone for now. I guess imma edit some stuff. Bye!

<3

my heart will go on

So I have accidently attacked my female hard drive. I have tortured myself with girly movies like the titanic, books like twilight and romeo and juliet, and constantly thinking about Tristan. Suddenly my female hard drive just kinda over rided and I just broke down. It was all a matter of time. I have never stressed so much in my life like I have these past two days. I have wrote more on my book and I will post it at the end of this blog. Its alittle more of chapter one. I might skip around a bit and give you all alittle of the other chapters. I dont want to post every full chapter because i want to publish my book
but I will atleast give alittle of every chapter except the last 4 chapters.

Anyways, I’m really glad to be back home. I was in the worst mood ever this morning. I didnt want to make that hour drive to NC and be with annoying little loud ass mean ass kids. but im home and I am glad we got out of there early. I reread Twilight again today. I need to get a job so I can by the other ones. I want them soooooooo bad >.< Ill prolly use my birthday money to get them cause they are worth it. Im not going to manchester tommorow either. I really hope I get to talk to Tristan tonight. I put together a playlist for the day and I thought I would share it with you guys.

~Playlist~
Always-Zug Island
Freaky Gurl-Gucci Mane
Suicide-Zug Island
Slow Motion-Hyper Crush
Smother Me-The Used
Cute Without the E-Taking Back Sunday
Manic Depressive-Insane Clown Posse
Far Away-Nickleback
Miss u -Tinie Tempah
Tie My Hands-Lil Wayne
My Curse-Killswitch Engaged
Withered-Dark Lotus
If God Smokes Cheap Cigars-Envy On The Coast
Bring Me Down-Monoxide Child
Confrontation-Otep
Fuck On Cocaine-DJ Caffeine
Bust It Baby-Plies
Basehead Attack-Insane Clown Posse
Smokin on a Blunt-Potluck
my confession-Otep
Plastic Surgery Slut-Jeffree star
Can You Keep A Secret-Dark Lotus
Represent-HED PE
Second Hand Smoke-Twiztid
Savin Me-Nickleback
Foreplay -Hed PE
Charlotte-Kittie
Sweetest Girl-Wyclef Jean Ft. Akon, Lil Wayne & Nia
Hiroshima-Zug Island
ABK & ICP- Gang Related-ABK
Sunny Day-Zug Izland
Familiar -Twiztid
You Are So Last Summer-Taking Back Sunday
Feel Like Fuckin’ -Plies
Stilletos (Pumps)-Crime Mob
Tear You Apart-She Wants Revenge
Make Damn Sure -Taking Back Sunday
The Meadow-Hed PE
See Me-Monoxide Child
Handlebars-Flobots
Hypnotized-Plies Ft. Akon
Wake Up-Hed PE
Lollipop Remix-Tinie Tempah
I’m Out-Monoxide Child
Blaze-Monoxide Child
Bite Down-Gorilla Zoe ft. Boyz N Da Hood
Radiohead – Karma Police 4:22 Radio Head
Shoot Me Down-LIl Wayne
Twizted – Bagz-Twiztid
Tell Them That She’s Not Scared-Envy On the Coast
Evil Angel-Breaking Benjamin
THE ABC’s of-Lords of acid
Creep-Radio Head
House Of Secrets -Otep

-Total=54
ok and now that i have given you my playlist for the day
here is some of more of the first chapter

Have you ever wanted to run? The only thing to feel is the ground beneath you? Maybe that’s how you have always felt. Maybe you just want to fly. That is how I have always felt. Surrounded by so many lies. Running the streets day and night with the ones that claim my back. Still I’m the only one left to prayer alone for my life under the street lights.
Now things haven’t always been this way. I used to be a good kid. I was once on the honor roll. But that all changed when we made the big move. My parents had heard from many people that a new school was opening in the city. So I was packed up and moved to the city. that’s when my transformation started. The city was a new world to me. See I had grown up on a farm until two years ago. that’s when this big move happened. My parents told me that it was their worst mistake. It wouldn’t have been if I had never met him. Amari Garcia. He was tall, tanned and had a body that was built to the perfect description. He also had the bad boy look that would make most kids cower. I was in love.
He was my next door neighbor. I thought it would be nice to make a friend. Little did I know that this handsome bad boy was exactly that. Three days after our meeting I would no longer be who I once was. I once was Eleanor kaslin. Straight A, church choir, virginal Eleanor. I was every parents dream child. At least for a while. I was a very gullible child two years ago. Amari proved that to me. Three days after we met was my first change. I snuck out of my window, got into his car, went to a party, got high and drunk, lost my virginity and made the biggest mistake I ever could have made. Now I bet you are wondering what I could have done worse then hat I had already done that night. Well let me explain for you. Amari was a leader of a gang. He introduced me to his friends and his family and then to the rest of the gang. Two hours five beers and three joints later I was in the gang. I lost my virginity that night to Amari. that’s how I got in. now do you see how much worse of a mistake can be made. This is the starting point of what my mother calls my jump off the deep end. Now lets start……

Tell me what you this
thats some more of chapter one
im still editing chapters two and three

<3

still illegal

So it’s still illegal to strangle little kids. Even when they are fucking loud and annoying. I would hate to think I was once a little kid with ADD. I can’t believe I used to act like that. Jeez…..I love them though. They are my nieces and even though I want to shake the living hell out of them…I wouldnt. I just needed to rant I guess.

Anyways, I got home from my sister Heathers earlier. I wasnt able to call tristan last night and I couldnt get on here to let him know why because guess what….her phone was cut off and she has no internet. So I couldnt call anyone to let them know anything. Im sick btw just so everyone knows. I think I have a cold. Im just in an all around bad mood and guess what else…I WANT A FUCKING CIGERETTE. Ok well I feel better now. ?I just need to be cheered up cause Im in no way shape or form gonna make anyone happy with the way Im feeling right now.

I have good news though. I took alot of pictures of my almost 5 month old nephew. He is in 12 month clothes and he isnt even half a year old. I love that kid. <3 He is so peaceful and he loves to laugh. I got to rock him to sleep earlier today and last night. Its amazing since he is so tiny. But it also shows me that I need to adopt an older kid when I get older and settle down. I cant have kids now. I know this and I have finnaly came to terms with that. So I know I will adopt one day but I think if I do it will be an older child. I will never have enough patience for a baby lol. Maybe when I get older my mind will have changed and I will think differently.

I have decided that Im just not gonna let anyone come in the way of mine and tristans relationship. If my parents dont like it they wont have to hear about it. Cause I wont talk to them about it. I really like being with him and I wont things to work out and unfold into something wonderful. So Im gonna do everything in my power to make that happen. He is so sweet.<3

Im starting to feel better the more I write and get stuff out. My mood is starting to lift and Im begining to feel like maybe I just need to be more optimistic today.

The little kids are gonna watch a movie which means peace and quiet. I have my nicotein fix. Im gonna try to get in touch with tristan and then if not imma take a nap. so i guess immas get off here for now. thanks june btw if you read this. lol Imma take your advice

ttyl
<3

[edit]

Im also wwriting on my book again.
I have wrote a good bit of a chapter that I am thinking about using in place of the first chapter. I have wrote chapter one already but I think I would rather replace it with the one I am writing now.
I will post the chapter I’m writing If i get enough comments tellin me to
if i dont
then Im keeping it completely a secret
so let me know
tehehe
<3

what my dreams are made of

I had the weirdest dream last night. I wrote it in my dream journal but I feel like sharing it because it was way to weird.

I was in this forest like thing. There where little spots of lighter areas all over the place. I couldnt reach any of the spots though. Everytime I would get near one the dark would sweep over and I would have to go alittle farther towards the light just to have it swept away again. I get grabbed at this point and pulled too quickly into the lighter area and then all the dark goes away. I look around me and I can’t find anyone around but myself. Then I notice a figure under a tree. It beckons towards me and I follow its beckoning.  The figure is a man in woodland clothing. Everything is green here. Everything the man is wearing is green or brown. He talks slowly with a thick accent that I can understand perfectly. He tells me to come to him because if he holds me close the darkness will never come around me again. So I let him. And as i sit there under this tree in his arms he pulls out a flute and begins to play. He plays the most beautiful notes and melody I have ever heard. The notes were so alive and perfect it was like they danced and swirled aroound us and then I was alone. I was in a bright open field.

Thats where I wake up. It was an interesting dream. I wish I could take pictures of images in my head. lol that would make the visual effect much easier for everyone. That was the first time I have ever had a dream like that. I have never had a dream even relativly close to that one. So I thought that sharing that would be nice.

Anyways today is gonna be odd. Im possibly going to my sisters. I want to see tristan. I dont know if I can work that out.  today there are little kids here…….again.

but theres not much interesting shit to do today so i guess if i find something interesting ill edit later if possible

help?

From The Atlanta Daily:

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cosy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I’m yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.

Men are so easy….

From The Guardian Newspaper

Concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:

‘Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner’s Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.’

British News From the Churchdown Parish Magazine:

‘Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church labelled ‘For The Sick’ , is for monetary donations only.’

From The Daily Telegraph

A piece headed ‘Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes’ :

‘ … the money will not be going directly into the prostitutes’ pocket, but will be used to encourage them to lead a better life. We will be training them for new positions in hotels.’

From The Derby Abbey Community News:

‘We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that ‘Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force’. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce.’

From The Gloucester Citizen:

‘A caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialling an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled, ‘Hear Me Moan’, the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, ‘He got what he deserved.’

Norfolk Virginia
Police in Norfolk, Virginia, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message ‘ He’s lying’ was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the ‘ lie detector’ was working, the suspect confessed

Safety film – Report
A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to the Health and Safety Council News, the film’s depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

Norway
Norwegian business consultant Hendrik Pedersen worked for 13 years on a book about Norwegian economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

Mexico
A man in Mexico City, shot his 49 year old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head.

Devon, England
Hiding in the depths of Sunday’s Observer newspaper was this amusing snippet
Mr and Mrs K. Lyons have been renovating their old house in Exeter, Devon. Mr Lyons, an architect, and his wife Ginny found, to their amazement, a post card stuck in an old front door after taking it off its hinges. Nothing worth commenting on here until they viewed the date on the post card. It had been posted in 1896.

HL Mencken the journalist and ‘Sage of Baltimore’, said of newspapers:
All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.

Advertisement from the Federation of Small Businesses
Wanted for a Regional Organiser – Leicestershire, Northamptonshire and Rutland a person with business acumen, self-motivation and management skills.  ‘The ability to speak Welsh would be an advantage’.

Royal Navy Officer Saves Life of Army Colleague in Horse-Back Riding Mishap

Wokingham News, Berkshire, England.

An Army Officer assigned to the Military Academy in Sandhurst narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he attempted horseback riding with no prior experience. After mounting his horse unassisted, the horse immediately began moving. As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the officer, Lieutenant Tommy Thomas, began to slip sideways from the saddle.

Although attempting to grab for the horse’s mane Thomas could not get a firm grip. He then threw his arms around the horse’s neck but continued to slide down the side of the horse. The horse galloped along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, losing his grip, the Lieutenant attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. His foot, however, became entangled in the stirrup, leaving him at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as his head and upper body repeatedly struck the ground.

Moments away from unconsciousness, and probable death, to his great fortune Commodore Steve Cleary [RN Ret’d] shopping at Waitrose, saw him and quickly unplugged the horse.

Will and Guy are seeking to ascertain the veracity of this story.

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®

These where a few articles I found hillarious of coarse. I am always so bored.

anyways news for today

I started talkin to Tristan on the phone last night at like 10 and we didnt get off the phone until 3:30 this morning. It was great. We found out alot about each other. Im really happy.

Ok now there is one thing bothering me.

Age difference. I never really had a problem with age. Age doesnt mean anything to me really. The only reason its bothering me now is because I really want this relationship to work but my dad might have a problem with this. Im not sure what would happen because I have never broken the two year rule. This rule is basically saying to that I wont date anyone more than two years older than me. Tristan is 4 years older than me….Im not sure how this is going to go. I want to make it work like seriously. I just dont know what to do…..any advice?

i have been told to just tell my dad he is younger but I dont wantt o ask tristan to lie. I dont like lying about stuff. I just dont know what to do.

if you have any advice please let me know.

<3

lets start of with

something i found quite interesting

here are some actual newspaper headlines

Some are just slips of the tongue

• Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
• Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
• Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
• House passes gas tax onto senate
• Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
• Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
• William Kelly was fed secretary
• Milk drinkers are turning to powder
• Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
• Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
• Farmer bill dies in house
• Iraqi head seeks arms

Some become unintentionally suggestive

• Queen Mary having bottom scraped
• Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
• Prostitutes appeal to Pope
• Panda mating fails – veterinarian takes over
• NJ judge to rule on nude beach
• Child’s stool great for use in garden
• Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
• Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
• Organ festival ends in smashing climax

Grammar often botches other headlines

• Eye drops off shelf
• Squad helps dog bite victim
• Dealers will hear car talk at noon
• Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
• Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
• Miners refuse to work after death
• Two Soviet ships collide – one dies
• Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning opposite from the one intended:

• Never withhold herpes from loved one
• Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
• Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
• Autos killing 110 a day, let’s resolve to do better

Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious

• If strike isn’t settled quickly it may last a while
• War dims hope for peace
• Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
• Cold wave linked to temperatures
• Child’s death ruins couple’s holiday
• Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years
• Man is fatally slain
• Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
• Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

I think you may have enjoyed that. I did. anyways on to other news. I didnt sleep much last night. Im so happy and hyper and excited. Everything is getting back into place. Its like once again all the pieces to the puzzle re falling into place and yet this time there are no missing pieces. Everything is good. life is slowly getting back to a good happy medium for me. and im glad.I have a really good feeling about me and tristan.I have a good feeling about alot of things.

so now its time for my favorite list of things that are making me happy!!!

1)me and tristan

2)mary being happy with her new boo!

3)every one is getting along

4)will came back from WV

5)i made a hell of alot of vids lately

6)I found my green eye shadow

7)Mary,Tak,Tristan,Mike and jill mean the world to me. They are the closest friends I have and they are my back bone and my support. Ily guys<3

Well thats about it for listing. So now just to throw out some random thoughts I have had these past few weeks.

Random thought 1

Will scientist one day find a way to grow humans from seeds injected with DNA?

Random thought 2

is it bad that I have acid reflux and still insist on usisng Fire sauce on pretty much any type of mexican food?

Random thought3

How do females get a sex change? Do they get a penis? or do they just get injected with testasturone so they grow more hair and muscles and shit?

Random thought 4

if a chicken and a penguin had sex…what would their babies look like?

enough with my random thoughts for right now

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thats all for now be back later