my heart will go on

So I have accidently attacked my female hard drive. I have tortured myself with girly movies like the titanic, books like twilight and romeo and juliet, and constantly thinking about Tristan. Suddenly my female hard drive just kinda over rided and I just broke down. It was all a matter of time. I have never stressed so much in my life like I have these past two days. I have wrote more on my book and I will post it at the end of this blog. Its alittle more of chapter one. I might skip around a bit and give you all alittle of the other chapters. I dont want to post every full chapter because i want to publish my book
but I will atleast give alittle of every chapter except the last 4 chapters.

Anyways, I’m really glad to be back home. I was in the worst mood ever this morning. I didnt want to make that hour drive to NC and be with annoying little loud ass mean ass kids. but im home and I am glad we got out of there early. I reread Twilight again today. I need to get a job so I can by the other ones. I want them soooooooo bad >.< Ill prolly use my birthday money to get them cause they are worth it. Im not going to manchester tommorow either. I really hope I get to talk to Tristan tonight. I put together a playlist for the day and I thought I would share it with you guys.

~Playlist~
Always-Zug Island
Freaky Gurl-Gucci Mane
Suicide-Zug Island
Slow Motion-Hyper Crush
Smother Me-The Used
Cute Without the E-Taking Back Sunday
Manic Depressive-Insane Clown Posse
Far Away-Nickleback
Miss u -Tinie Tempah
Tie My Hands-Lil Wayne
My Curse-Killswitch Engaged
Withered-Dark Lotus
If God Smokes Cheap Cigars-Envy On The Coast
Bring Me Down-Monoxide Child
Confrontation-Otep
Fuck On Cocaine-DJ Caffeine
Bust It Baby-Plies
Basehead Attack-Insane Clown Posse
Smokin on a Blunt-Potluck
my confession-Otep
Plastic Surgery Slut-Jeffree star
Can You Keep A Secret-Dark Lotus
Represent-HED PE
Second Hand Smoke-Twiztid
Savin Me-Nickleback
Foreplay -Hed PE
Charlotte-Kittie
Sweetest Girl-Wyclef Jean Ft. Akon, Lil Wayne & Nia
Hiroshima-Zug Island
ABK & ICP- Gang Related-ABK
Sunny Day-Zug Izland
Familiar -Twiztid
You Are So Last Summer-Taking Back Sunday
Feel Like Fuckin’ -Plies
Stilletos (Pumps)-Crime Mob
Tear You Apart-She Wants Revenge
Make Damn Sure -Taking Back Sunday
The Meadow-Hed PE
See Me-Monoxide Child
Handlebars-Flobots
Hypnotized-Plies Ft. Akon
Wake Up-Hed PE
Lollipop Remix-Tinie Tempah
I’m Out-Monoxide Child
Blaze-Monoxide Child
Bite Down-Gorilla Zoe ft. Boyz N Da Hood
Radiohead – Karma Police 4:22 Radio Head
Shoot Me Down-LIl Wayne
Twizted – Bagz-Twiztid
Tell Them That She’s Not Scared-Envy On the Coast
Evil Angel-Breaking Benjamin
THE ABC’s of-Lords of acid
Creep-Radio Head
House Of Secrets -Otep

-Total=54
ok and now that i have given you my playlist for the day
here is some of more of the first chapter

Have you ever wanted to run? The only thing to feel is the ground beneath you? Maybe that’s how you have always felt. Maybe you just want to fly. That is how I have always felt. Surrounded by so many lies. Running the streets day and night with the ones that claim my back. Still I’m the only one left to prayer alone for my life under the street lights.
Now things haven’t always been this way. I used to be a good kid. I was once on the honor roll. But that all changed when we made the big move. My parents had heard from many people that a new school was opening in the city. So I was packed up and moved to the city. that’s when my transformation started. The city was a new world to me. See I had grown up on a farm until two years ago. that’s when this big move happened. My parents told me that it was their worst mistake. It wouldn’t have been if I had never met him. Amari Garcia. He was tall, tanned and had a body that was built to the perfect description. He also had the bad boy look that would make most kids cower. I was in love.
He was my next door neighbor. I thought it would be nice to make a friend. Little did I know that this handsome bad boy was exactly that. Three days after our meeting I would no longer be who I once was. I once was Eleanor kaslin. Straight A, church choir, virginal Eleanor. I was every parents dream child. At least for a while. I was a very gullible child two years ago. Amari proved that to me. Three days after we met was my first change. I snuck out of my window, got into his car, went to a party, got high and drunk, lost my virginity and made the biggest mistake I ever could have made. Now I bet you are wondering what I could have done worse then hat I had already done that night. Well let me explain for you. Amari was a leader of a gang. He introduced me to his friends and his family and then to the rest of the gang. Two hours five beers and three joints later I was in the gang. I lost my virginity that night to Amari. that’s how I got in. now do you see how much worse of a mistake can be made. This is the starting point of what my mother calls my jump off the deep end. Now lets start……

Tell me what you this
thats some more of chapter one
im still editing chapters two and three

<3