Take the Dive
These feelings I hold hard inside me
the pressure building up is almost unbearable
almost but not completely, almost I can handle
So many secrets I carry are lined with your name
So many secrets I carry are causing me pain
I can’t stop thinking, can’t get you out of my head
I was asked if I felt for you, more than you for me
and I swore I had no care, I lied to everyone
Everyone including me
I let you into my secret world. Let you into my soul
You used me for your own personal need
And I knew going in that things weren’t the same
I try to remove you from my life
I try to see the world without you there
but all I really ever wanted, was for you to really care
All my life I’ve wanted someone to love me
I’ve given everything I have to make them care
Yet they all seem to walk away, no ones ever there
I still put myself out there, I leave my heart bare
I invite you in to take it, break it, in hopes you wont
and I find myself saying please, please dont
I admit I bring on my pain, I bring on every bit
I wait around to find someone, the one I hope will fit
and they never do, they never do, I let myself get hurt
Over and over I look for love, cause all I really want is that
To feel another’s connection, to make me feel alive
And even though this cycle is the same, I take that dive
Prey
Prey on the innocent one
the children make loud sounds
like a rapist
the reeper creeps
plotting to take them down
so while late at night
on there knees they pray
you kill them silently
they all fall to the ground
Twisted Rhyme
Ring around the rosies
pocket full of flowers
to keep the stench of rotting flesh away
so sweet and innocent the children seem
as the all spin and fall down
a dark disturbed message
neither you nor I can define
singing about the death of 3 billion
children chant is in a nursery rhyme
Tarnished Angel
A tarninshed Halo
Two black broken wings
A tatered and dirty coat
A cut up angel it seems
She had a harp without strings
Halo eyes and no dreams
A sad thought showing on her face
And a heart breaking inside her
One day she fell
To a place called Hell
And pleaded
for someone to find her
Then in time
She realized what she had
And never knew what she lost
Until it was to late to restore it
Zombie Girl
I am a black rose
Wilted on the floor
Unnoticed by everyone
Left to rot
Our love is dead
With the smell of rotting fruit
Lost souls in my head
Telling me not to breath
I am the girl with the smile of a corpse
The voice of a lost soul
The eyes of a ghost
And the face of a child
I played the dead girl in your freak show
People tell me I’m cold
I wonder if I’m really dead
Or if I’m just the voice
Drowning the thoughts in your head
The Lost Boy
The Objects in motion speed up
While he was walking slow
Feeling empty and hollow
The manequin Type state of mind
Has his sould binded in the wasting
Of time
Lights flash around him
As the neon nazi sings
His sleeply lullaby
And the child under the cover
Weaps in the site
Of the man in florecent green
He ran through the forest
And whitnessed a hunter
That was in love with the godess
Of nature, shoot her down
In a shot of love
And the boy cried
But the godess rose and the arrow
Wasn’t to deep
She kissed the boys eyes
And he drifted into a deep sleep
Of the day theat passed
And the slumber was a forbidden curse
A thousand year sleep
Yet the boy never aged
Fourteen he remaind
When he awoke he was enraged
His medieval consequence
He suffered As the years rolled on
Suicide
I call everyone and tell them
Everything I never said
Inside m head is broken
And my heart is dead
After there’s no one left to call
And everythings put away
I sit on my bed
And watch my pain be sliced away
In the darkness I just blead
The whole world feel apart
Inside of my head
Im sorry i didnt say this was my last goodbye
As my room grows dark
I feel my life fade away
I start to choke
On the words i want to say
Dont be sad
Dont cry any tears
Dont let my memory
Be the one you fear
Im still here
Just trying to get along
Waiting for feathers
Wanting to grow some wings
Now out of a world of hell
Just another crazy thing
You can’t go back
When your gone forever
Angst
i used to be the apple in your eye
you said you didnt want to hurt me
i am alone
dont play games with me
i will never love again
the colors of my soul have been stripped away
no one understands my pain
i will rock my agry little boat
my happiness is being torn away
im the creaky floor
in this void we walk through forever
war is comming and it wont be pretty
lost in a sea of dissarrayed souls
emptyness has over come me
yes im bitter
i am a light houdt
im crying in my room and no one cares
i loved her
yes i live a lie
welcome to the smell of rotting fruit
wishing only hurt,dreams only crush
a liquid reales i cry
i am a rose
dying on the floor
frightned by screams
i onced loved you
i loveds you too much
i long to hear your voice again
i hear it when i cry
she took my heart apart
why?
the moon is the begotten child of the sun
darkness of the darkest clouds engulf me
its not quite love – more than like though
Caleb Seth Byers
Tommorow is two months
it feels to soon
you’ve been gone this long
and I still cant move on
you died too young
you died too soon
you took your own life
and I’m still angry at you
I do love you
and always will
but the fact of your death
has its grip on me still
you should be here
going to school
hanging with friends
still able to be seen
I heard your voice the other day
maybe it was just a dream
I felt you were there with me
and I couldnt help but cry
Im still here
and Im wondering why
I have attempted to take my life
and you never had to try
But now I want my life
I want to live
I hold you in a memory close to my heart
I guess this is where the healing starts
Willow Willow
willow willow
weeping willow
sways its limbs with the wind
the breeze is its music
and its limbs
do a dance
willow willow
weeping willow
sweeps the ground
over and over again
with its long slender branches
that clean the ground
willow willow
weeping willow
White Walls
white walls of this room
too bright too clean
white walls of this room
will drive me insane
these white walls are cold to the touch
so pure, so devine
these white whites are in my room
a room im not familiar too
these white wall are in a place
white walls white wall
in every room
containing an unfamiliar face
white walls white walls
reflects the light
stings my eyes
i say goodnight
to know that i will wake
to the too clean to bright
white walls white walls
whatch over me at night
Dear Mother
Look into my eyes
can you see yourself?
do you see my hurt
welling up in them
how can you not see me
You hate who I am
who I became
the truth is
Im just like you
you are who i became
The anger and the hole
that color changing eyes
why keep telling yourself
lie after lie
its not going to change
you carried me in your womb
nine months you loved me
how can I not be live you
I am you in many ways
My dear dear mother
Decaying
my tattered wings finnaly break
your lies swarm me in my eyes
never know which way to turn
to find you standing there
holding back the truth
when i’m held close its a false sence
because nothing from you is truly real
how can I let you back in?
why can’t you just be you
Your everything I never wanted
and everything i need
you break me down with your
words or glass and leather lashing me
You wilt my like the feathers
of a fallen angel
like a dying rose
i decay
Empty
Its been months now
even though I can’t see you
Your presence lingers with me.
It eats away at me,
hollowing me
making me empty
Mother you loved me
but not enough to deal with me
soo now when I see you
it is hard to get close
and when you hug me
I feel empty
My best friends
or so they called themselves
hung around long enough
to watch me fall down
then they leave me to deal alone
they have their own little space of empty
The unborn girl
the one I hid from the world
the one that everyone found out about
I need to be more carful
because of me…your gone
and then I was completely empty
So many months have passed
since all of these things have occured
and yet that empty
is still there
eating at me
filling me up with more empty space
Fading Little Scar
Twinkle twinkle little scar,
How I wonder how deep you are,
The feeling of the blade against my skin
I have the feeling this cut wont be thin
Twinkle Twinkle blade so bright
Oh how you shine brightly in the light
Everyday you fight me again
This time I will not win
twinkle twinkle blood of maroon
Now the sun is gone with the moon
After every drop the world goes dead
Everything falls apart inside my head
Twinkle twinkle little life
Now i know i’ve lost the fight
This war with my self lasted to lont
Now im six feet under and gone
Falling Down the Rabbit Hole
One to grow and one to shrink
But the one you choose to drink
Will make your fate in the end
Which one will you choose my friend?
Falling down the rabbit hole
has started to take its tole
talking flowers and butterflies
pink hills and green and purple skies
Not knowing which door to choose
the farther you walk the more you lose
going through the mad forest at night
you can’t figure the turn thats right
when you meet the rabbit with the clock
he will run at his lateness and scream at the tick tock
follow him through wonderland
then he will give you a hand
through the mushroom fields to the city
this rainbow world just seems so pretty
everyones mad here you see
and even though you wish to stay that can’t be
so you find the hole in which you came
going back to a world but never the same
if you need an adventure another day
you will always remember the way
Gore Whore
I turn gore into glamore
One look will make you stammer
I’m the teenage dirtbag baby
so come over here to me
I’m the lost goddess
in a bloody mess on my knee’s
I look like a badass
I look kind of tough
but I’m soft and cuddly through
all the rough
So come over to here to me
I’m a dirty whore looking to say please
Underneath my entire
Gore whore atire
I’m a lonely sad girl
So come over here to me
I’m you when your down
My way of life makes you frown
With fishnets and safety pins
I’m a freak in the box
All I want to do is play
So come over here to me
I know the worlds afraid to see
bbut get me out and show me anyways
Joshua Truman Blackwell[[Rest In Peace]]
I know your near
can’t see you
but I know your here
At first it hurt
to be honest it still does
everyday
I know your near
can’t see you
but I knoe your here
sometimes I feel
like someones looking
over my sholder
I know it’s you
thats the something
thats very true
but what get me through
is always know
i love you
I know your near
can’t see you
but I know your here
Needs
I need someone to talk to
someone to distract me
so i can forget about the pain
the one consumming me
i ripped my own heart out
i stuck it in a place
a place i could forget about
a place without a trace
cause without a heart
i never have to love
and it will never break again
and ill never break another
i want this pain inside me
i want it to die
i want to get rid of this pain
i want to break down and cry
i need to go away
so fuckin far away
i need to go away today
somewhere no one can find me
under a rock
or in a cave
let a drug induced coma
take me away
into a sleep
so heavy and great
that when i wake up
ill be alright again
and ill come back to you
to everyone to
and ill show them all the new me
and kill the one thats old
Pearls
Im a bead of pearls
Around my neck
Pulling myself down
Choking myself to death
I’m off white and sad
A beautiful disease
Going to heaven in
A straight jacket
Im gonna run away
Back to the place
Of the blue Bayou
And it will be a happy day
Princess
This princess sleeps
the archangel creeps
keep her safe Keep her safe
Keep her sane
This princess breaths
An archangel grieves
Keep her awake keep her awake
Keep her alive
This princess cries
An archangel lies
keep her heart keep her heart
keep her heart beating
This princess bleeds
An archangel needs
keep her pride keep her pride
keep here from suicide
This princess dies
An archangel cries
I failed her I failed her
I lost my light
The Keeper
Spinning in circles
Like small children
we all fall to the ground
we get up on our on
no one helps
no one makes a sound
yet the keeper of sanity
the one thats always there
catching others when they stumble
The keeper who has
no one to catch him
when he stumbles
he will fall
and fall three times harder
and he is always able
to pull himself up
from the ground
but what if he doesnt
has no more will
no more want
to stand back up
will you pity this keeper
help him from the round
or stare in shame
that he failed to be there
to catch you
will you even be around?
There is a Willow
there is a willow
its limbs sweep the ground
willow willow
wheeping willow
sweep away the dirty ground
there is a willow
that sways with the breeze
willow willow
wheeping willow
let the breeze flow through your limbs
there is a willow
that dances in the wind
willow willow
wheeping willow
dance with the wind again
Where is the World
Where the flowers now grow
flesh has died
and gone unknown
and I wonder why
Where the light sounds good
and the sound looks great
they tied me down
can you relate
where a teenager cries
and another flower dies
do words mean something
other than they seem?
Where a man gets away
a young life is changed
another flower grows
its all a pattern you see
Where a storm blows in
an innocence is taken
another form of flesh decays
where the fuck is the world?
Where my hands hit these keys
my mind leaks out into space
and the soil is fertilzed
ready to grow again
MORE WILL BE ADDED LATER
